tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-314216982024-03-07T04:39:21.605+00:00Endless DreamsFar away in the sunshine are my aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them and try to follow where they may lead.
Louisa May AlcottDreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-49290967583738263872015-01-06T00:53:00.000+00:002015-01-06T00:53:25.765+00:00Home<div class="MsoNormal">
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Declared adults by a number, by a cake… by default<o:p></o:p></div>
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I have fled home many times,<o:p></o:p></div>
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But home has never fled me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Tearful and protective,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Nurture and nature ringing strong within.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I will grow up.</div>
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I am an adult.</div>
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You will always be my home.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-49101511517884119202014-11-23T01:12:00.001+00:002014-11-23T01:12:46.931+00:00Whole<div class="MsoNormal">
Constant feeling of turmoil.<o:p></o:p></div>
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On the verge of tearful breaks.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Constantly.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After years of dry fields.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Delayed reaction,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Or anticipatory action.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A lot is changing and I am alone.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But we are always alone.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Only you will push. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Only you will pull<o:p></o:p></div>
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Yourself. And you,<o:p></o:p></div>
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You and the almighty,<o:p></o:p></div>
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You are one.<o:p></o:p></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-GB; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Whole.</span>Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-48687341638113329992014-01-23T23:36:00.003+00:002014-01-23T23:36:50.333+00:00Reveal yourself and the good ones will respond in kindness...Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-26699038667951888572013-11-07T23:45:00.002+00:002013-11-07T23:45:44.089+00:00Equilibrium<div class="MsoNormal">
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The future is bright in my dying hope. I see what I believe
exists and only believe what I see exists. Sometimes faith rescues and nurtures
me at my weakest. Sometimes I rise above and reject it from the hill tops. In
the middle are my loves, values and the diminishing burning light, waiting.
Equilibrium.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-23537445293993160002012-07-28T20:06:00.000+01:002012-07-28T20:06:15.034+01:00<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 13.63636302947998px; text-align: right;">*انام كي انساااك ... ولكن ما هو نسياني و في المنام ترقد ذكراك ؟؟</span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 13.63636302947998px; text-align: right;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">*copied by anonymous</span></span>Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-61662034292784743382012-07-06T23:21:00.001+01:002012-07-06T23:21:28.378+01:00Something Great<br />
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Great disappointments are like great expectations, they inspire the
written word and the endless analysis of every encounter sending thoughts into
a whirlwind of spiralling chaos.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Living in constant highs and lows.<o:p></o:p></div>
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First step to recovery is to admit… <o:p></o:p></div>
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I am an addict to this self-deprecating lifestyle<o:p></o:p></div>
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Here’s to healing<o:p></o:p></div>Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-61866594363934258682012-03-12T21:10:00.002+00:002012-03-12T22:29:43.209+00:00Waiting<p class="MsoNormal">Every now and then he comes to occupy my thoughts and dreams like he’s there. Every now and then I relive his tragedy and remind myself of the glorious life he lived to solace the sadness at the end.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I watched how he willed a dying flower, cut from its mother plant, to live. Every morning he would water and replenish it, until even the pink slowly seeped out and turned into a peaceful white. I watched how he slowly became a prisoner in his own body. I watched how his great mind was fighting and quickly failing. I stopped watching and only listened. Now I wait for him in my thoughts and dreams.<o:p></o:p></p>Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-60194319421089610652012-01-06T21:14:00.002+00:002012-01-06T21:17:43.643+00:00Damn I love Arabs and especially Iraqis<p class="MsoNormal">There is no place on earth where I feel safe and secure like when Im surrounded by my homeland people. It might be dirty, with poor services and have people who stare unashamedly but I feel home and hugged constantly by love.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">The holiday spirit may have blinded my senses slightly..</p>Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-14190929494894189462011-04-28T22:42:00.001+01:002011-04-28T22:43:26.231+01:00Life HappenedA finality, an end, a door was closed yesterday.<br />Feeling somewhat lost now back in reality.<br />The back-up plan is no longer in play and the pressure is on for the actual plan to materialize and succeed.<br /><br />But hey, everything happens for a reason…Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-29131709987615356532010-04-16T21:22:00.001+01:002010-04-16T21:22:32.784+01:00You have got to love the GAMEDreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-1563883851574246692010-04-07T14:28:00.000+01:002010-04-07T14:29:17.433+01:00It's a love-hate relationship!Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-16376153163505190182010-04-01T23:41:00.002+01:002010-04-01T23:43:36.534+01:00It's happening...I'm taking life's next turnDreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-13562677962545029392010-02-26T23:04:00.002+00:002010-02-26T23:11:31.037+00:0024 Hours In A Day<p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;">A bright haze of light seeped slowly into my cliff hanger dream and woke me up unwillingly at an ungodly hour on Sunday morning. Looking down on the mess of the duvet, brown throw and the deep blue sleeping bag I found those big green eyes blinking back at me. And so we were up!</span><br /><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;"><?xml:namespace prefix = o /><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;">With limited ticks until I watch her leave me standing on the platform, a plan of action was laid down. On we walked up the hilly road, starved and stomachs churning at the thought of those hot freshly made pancakes. Enveloped by the flurry of sizzling eggs, sausages and various oil rich based breakfast grub, we spend a good two hours waking up to the buzz of the day. </span><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;"><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;">Picking up the last few belongings of hers, we traditionally parted on a music update sesh…</span><br /><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;">Young, green spinach leaves, more mixed green leaves, piping red tomatoes, black olives and a cheeky hint of sundried tomatoes composed my contribution to the previously agreed upon house meal. The kitchen burst into life, heat and warmth invaded our stone cold rooms. Impatience sets in as the smell but don’t touch precept was driving me to the edge. A pitiful attempt at napping in preparation for the dreaded 12 hour night shift failed and I found myself once again seduced by those tantalizing aromas and hovering I did before I was spared the torture.</span><br /><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;">Tearing myself away from “enchanted”, heavily, I dragged myself with all those chocolate brownies and the fat that’s circulating around my body to the ever reliable blue car.</span><br /><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;">Away we cruised down the non-rush hour roads into the bubble of labour ward. Lead by the fearsome midwives, who somewhat disliked the medics, the ward was kept under tight control. Not a sound is heard outside the individual rooms.</span><br /><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;">I was assigned my first couple of the week; 8 hours of bonding over their special circumstance brought us closer together. It started with an awkward invasion of their personal happening, later discovering and uniting over the similarities in our different colours, accents and history of torn homelands and ending with a beautiful baby Matthias.</span><br /><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;">Suddenly plagued by fatigue, costa coffees leather sofas did not escape the crash of my sleep deprived body. Holding onto my clearly signed costa coffee paper cup, I became a spectacle for the waiter, the early bird patients and staff.</span><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;"><o:p><br /></o:p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB" style="font-family:Arial;">Stepping back into familiarity, I came full circle and ended my first 24 hour day…<o:p></o:p></span></p>Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-36181013356857460502009-12-22T15:41:00.001+00:002009-12-22T15:48:31.772+00:00Snippets From A Time Of Simplicity<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span lang="EN-GB">First time I ventured out of the Arab world, I was captivated by the many gems everywhere. I went back to </span><?xml:namespace prefix = st1 /><st1:city><st1:place><span lang="EN-GB">Baghdad</span></st1:place></st1:city><span lang="EN-GB"> after a trip of a lifetime at that time and age, fuelled with stories and realizations.</span></span><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span lang="EN-GB">The soap dispenser was one of the many topics I would repeatedly tell to whoever that was interested enough to listen to a 10 year old child. I thought it was an ingenious creation, neat, clean and convenient. I marvelled at how the liquefied soap would ooze out, the pink coloured variety was my favourite. </span><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span lang="EN-GB">Then, there was the vending machine. I would daydream of the possibilities if I had one for myself. The endless supply of chocolates, the prospect of business from friends and family paying into that big machine!!</span><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span lang="EN-GB">At that time too, my environmentally friendly attitude blossomed and grew when pedalling on a lake in one of the many Centre Parcs across </span><st1:place><span lang="EN-GB">Europe</span></st1:place><span lang="EN-GB">. Coming from a city with no regard to public space cleanliness, or personal responsibility towards keeping our town spotless, I thought it was perfectly acceptable to leave my banana skin on the pedalo until I was told otherwise!!</span><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span lang="EN-GB"><span style="font-family:arial;">Lastly, an image, that would never leave my memory, intrigued my innocent mind for years before an explanation materialized. In the Jacuzzi, busy holding onto the sides in case I’d float away with the warm bubbles, a couple in the opposite corner came into focus. I was taken by their closeness, intense eye contact and playful smiles. I was so drawn into their world that I did not realize I was staring inappropriately. They must’ve felt an intruder’s underage gaze disrupting their moment, for they toned it down…<?xml:namespace prefix = o /><o:p></o:p></span></span></p>Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-6684767879643981722009-06-26T09:38:00.002+01:002009-06-26T09:44:04.248+01:00Boom Shaka laka!!I am done, woo!! I am free, woo!! I have never been this excited about finishing, even though its short lived..2 weeks and im back again. A lick of freedom that I'm still grateful for.<br /><br />Amongst other news, swine flu is literally one person away!Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-46570317333881649592009-05-25T11:21:00.003+01:002009-05-27T08:25:15.588+01:00A Weekend of The ParentsI was given the grand tour of the garden by the proud gardener and implementer of the great ideas that the Mother generates. As we passed the Magnolia, we reached their pride and joy, the vegetable patch. Dad took the chance to inspect his baby turnips closer and all of a sudden he exclaimed “that dog* has eaten the turnips!!” with such vehemence. I had to stifle my laughter and humoured him along “who did?”, “the slug” he said, in such a matter of fact.<br /><br />And that is why I miss home, who knew slugs were dogs?<br /><br /><br />*dog= an insult, to the effect of calling someone a cow!Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-81975432974949710812009-05-10T21:41:00.004+01:002009-05-11T18:06:40.237+01:00Third Year Cabin FeverIs it the number 21? Is it the many graduations of close friends? Or is it the body’s clock ticking more urgently?<br /><br />Overnight, a button was switched on, a light was turned on, a brain impulse was sent to look for the significant other! Even though we have two whole years ahead of us, those medics are incestuously dating as if they’re going to miss the train. What happened to the motto “work hard and play harder”? When did it turn to “work hard and settle faster”?<br /><br />It seems the worst is yet to come, with all of us being stuck together for the 3 month summer holiday everyone else will be enjoying! Oh, joy!Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-3015334439642550872009-04-07T21:26:00.001+01:002009-04-07T21:27:48.429+01:00Arresting Cardiac ArrestThe deafening sirens jolt everyone out of their little private worlds of escape, back to reality. Sadly, they are never in sync with the jolt that sets off the sirens alive.<br />Feet scramble and run to the source. The ward, all of a sudden, turns tense and chaotic reflecting my state of mind.<br /><br />Passing by bewildered and baffled eyes, I arrive at the scene. A lifeless, yellow being is flattened back, his body not his own anymore. His heart and lungs belong to strangers, with nurse’s and doctor’s titles. Machines, tubes and fluids are all there to be used and work their magic. I catch a glimpse of the pool of deep, dark blood that escaped his body and it swallows me in and leaves me dazed.<br /><br />As the frenzy heightens and anticipation strengthens, a demand paralyzes us all, resonating louder than the oddly insignificant sirens. Stop! Time of death…Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-80660585356146170192009-04-06T21:45:00.002+01:002009-04-06T21:49:26.356+01:00A State Of MindI want it all.<br /><br />I want to write and draw<br />I want to run and dance<br />I want to lose it all and have it all<br />I want to know everything and nothing<br />I want to impress the seniors and go unnoticed<br />I want to do it all<br /><br />I want the sun to show me the way<br />I wan the wind to blow me away<br />I want my heart to skip a beat<br />I want my head to loosen its keep<br /><br />I want to be free<br />I want to be me<br />I want to be whole<br />I want to be with him and all<br /><br />I want him all<br />I want him whole<br />I want him to be mine<br />I want him to be supine ;) (For rhyming's sake!)Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-59007712716224641262009-02-12T14:33:00.003+00:002009-02-14T01:48:39.682+00:00Domestic PoliticsSharing a house and conspiring revolutions. We cook, we eat, we shower and we heat with laughs and cries, all under one roof in the name of friendship. Tiny numbers on a piece of paper arrive, magnified by their value, cause havoc and chaos! And the motions are set..<br /><br />Accusations, heated discussions and unreasonable solutions create a loophole in our disturbed existance. Allies formed and reformed long broken friendships that had no hope of reconciliation. Meetings, deviced under secrecy and undercover stories take place. Enhancing the skill of the softly spoken word, without which communications in the fragile and thin walled house would break. However, the looming shadow of collaboration, compromise and the undesired verdict are ever approaching ...Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-90294289432923402462009-01-19T00:21:00.003+00:002009-01-19T00:28:18.416+00:00No!You are here, you come to me, you give me you're all. A myth no more, a fantasy turned into reality, a dream come true, all handed to me on a platter of gold. Waiting, and waiting, eyes unwavering, hopeful and waiting.<br />A knott is growing, and growing in my small throat. Eyes wide open, shocked and fearful. Blood rushing through, flooding my crowded brain, whooshing endlessly... No...Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-50479091664247004042008-11-08T00:12:00.003+00:002008-11-08T00:50:16.596+00:00A Pipe DreamPeople...people come and go. Some will turn to be best friends, some life long, prized connections and others will just be another face, name to add to the long list of acquaintances. However, it is those who pass by that can have a lasting impression. Those, who make the small remarks that have the biggest impact. Then, they leave and leave a changed person longing for their illusive return.Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-83362374826645516122008-10-15T18:14:00.002+01:002008-10-15T18:20:53.162+01:00Barbie's Unforeseen FateLong, wavy, white blonde hair, sun-kissed skin, to die for body and the many gowns and outfits in all colours possible, these were my Barbie’s acquired traits. All that was missing was her significant other! It made perfect sense, for my precious Barbie to have her tall, dark and handsome Ken. I told mother of this ever persisting deficit.<br /><br />However, Ken never came and strangely enough I was very relieved for my Barbie! Somehow, the theory of him coming, sweeping her off her feet and taking her away from me precipitated?! Whether this was the creation of my mother’s slick and witty escape or the intricate imagination of two little girls reconciling themselves and their Barbie, I have not yet come to the conclusion.<br /><br />Either way, this theory has survived and grew with me through all those years, lying dormant, deep at the back of my mind. Until recently, with the news of my childhood friend marrying, and my cousin’s fast entry (to me) into wedlock and baby producing stage have brought back the anxiety I went through with my Barbie. The thought that they will no longer be mine, and mine alone, played on my mind.<br /><br />Yet, they made the transition into marriage world in one piece and I pulled through unharmed in any shape or form; and so there were happy endings to scary beginnings.<br /><br />Except for Barbie, who now resides in a dark, crowded box, up in the cold, dusty attic. So much for our protectiveness!Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-35118203630853915722008-10-10T00:46:00.004+01:002008-10-10T10:24:31.418+01:00You<em>You</em> are a constant reminder of the burden I carry, the guilt I feel, the unspoken promises. How can I escape?<br />The need to run and run far and fast is itching inside of me. Slowly, I'm being enclosed on and in, surrounded by this deafeningly approaching ponderosity! The happiness is sucked out of me on the mention of <em>You</em>. How can this be when <em>You </em>are supposed to be the ray of light that brightens up my life?<br />Love...they sayDreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31421698.post-56112149235009564932007-04-20T17:23:00.000+01:002007-04-20T17:29:47.060+01:00Battle of The IndicesThe clock hits 4.30pm and the battle begins.<br /><br />Each sat in their own room, at opposite ends of the house, one on his reclining chair, with his feet up on the table in front of him. The other lying down, relaxing after a long day in school, on the couch, with salt and vinegar crisps conveniently placed within hand reach.<br /><br />Both are clicking away at the small black buttons, each having a different number in mind. The white numbers have started to fade away, leaving the evidence for these persistent and childish acts.<br /><br />With every successful click of his, her face reacts involuntarily to the results that appear on the screen. Lips mouthing incoherent, newly coined words and nose that has become asymmetrical, one half higher than the other, she determinedly presses hard on her chosen button “back up”, which never changes.<br /><br />After ten minutes of this futile and frustrating game (to her) she decided to be the bigger person and give up the fight.<br /><br />Remote controls, regardless of their revolutionary, lazy inducing advantages, turn everyone, whether it was the 80 year old or the already young 14 year old, into petty children.Dreamerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00116258791196282499noreply@blogger.com10