Every now and then he comes to occupy my thoughts and dreams like he’s there. Every now and then I relive his tragedy and remind myself of the glorious life he lived to solace the sadness at the end.
I watched how he willed a dying flower, cut from its mother plant, to live. Every morning he would water and replenish it, until even the pink slowly seeped out and turned into a peaceful white. I watched how he slowly became a prisoner in his own body. I watched how his great mind was fighting and quickly failing. I stopped watching and only listened. Now I wait for him in my thoughts and dreams.
There is no place on earth where I feel safe and secure like when Im surrounded by my homeland people. It might be dirty, with poor services and have people who stare unashamedly but I feel home and hugged constantly by love.
The holiday spirit may have blinded my senses slightly..
A bright haze of light seeped slowly into my cliff hanger dream and woke me up unwillingly at an ungodly hour on Sunday morning. Looking down on the mess of the duvet, brown throw and the deep blue sleeping bag I found those big green eyes blinking back at me. And so we were up!
With limited ticks until I watch her leave me standing on the platform, a plan of action was laid down. On we walked up the hilly road, starved and stomachs churning at the thought of those hot freshly made pancakes. Enveloped by the flurry of sizzling eggs, sausages and various oil rich based breakfast grub, we spend a good two hours waking up to the buzz of the day.
Picking up the last few belongings of hers, we traditionally parted on a music update sesh…
Young, green spinach leaves, more mixed green leaves, piping red tomatoes, black olives and a cheeky hint of sundried tomatoes composed my contribution to the previously agreed upon house meal. The kitchen burst into life, heat and warmth invaded our stone cold rooms. Impatience sets in as the smell but don’t touch precept was driving me to the edge. A pitiful attempt at napping in preparation for the dreaded 12 hour night shift failed and I found myself once again seduced by those tantalizing aromas and hovering I did before I was spared the torture.
Tearing myself away from “enchanted”, heavily, I dragged myself with all those chocolate brownies and the fat that’s circulating around my body to the ever reliable blue car.
Away we cruised down the non-rush hour roads into the bubble of labour ward. Lead by the fearsome midwives, who somewhat disliked the medics, the ward was kept under tight control. Not a sound is heard outside the individual rooms.
I was assigned my first couple of the week; 8 hours of bonding over their special circumstance brought us closer together. It started with an awkward invasion of their personal happening, later discovering and uniting over the similarities in our different colours, accents and history of torn homelands and ending with a beautiful baby Matthias.
Suddenly plagued by fatigue, costa coffees leather sofas did not escape the crash of my sleep deprived body. Holding onto my clearly signed costa coffee paper cup, I became a spectacle for the waiter, the early bird patients and staff.
Stepping back into familiarity, I came full circle and ended my first 24 hour day…
First time I ventured out of the Arab world, I was captivated by the many gems everywhere. I went back to
The soap dispenser was one of the many topics I would repeatedly tell to whoever that was interested enough to listen to a 10 year old child. I thought it was an ingenious creation, neat, clean and convenient. I marvelled at how the liquefied soap would ooze out, the pink coloured variety was my favourite.
Then, there was the vending machine. I would daydream of the possibilities if I had one for myself. The endless supply of chocolates, the prospect of business from friends and family paying into that big machine!!
At that time too, my environmentally friendly attitude blossomed and grew when pedalling on a lake in one of the many Centre Parcs across
Lastly, an image, that would never leave my memory, intrigued my innocent mind for years before an explanation materialized. In the Jacuzzi, busy holding onto the sides in case I’d float away with the warm bubbles, a couple in the opposite corner came into focus. I was taken by their closeness, intense eye contact and playful smiles. I was so drawn into their world that I did not realize I was staring inappropriately. They must’ve felt an intruder’s underage gaze disrupting their moment, for they toned it down…
